Daily checkin and visualizations

I read two different books on my last business trip to California. I took along a copy of The Secret and a very different book by Caroline Myss, Entering the Castle. I'm pretty sure that Myss would find The Secret to be an example of materialism masquerading as spiritual development. She has a point, but I still found The Secret to be a valuable wake-up call about the amount of negative internal self-chatter that I have running around in my head.

So I did a little experiment. I started doing a simple affirmation when I was running behind to a physical therapy appointment for my shoulder about two weeks ago. I caught myself saying "I'm going to be late..." as I sped out the driveway. So I stopped and ran a very different bit of internal dialog: "I'm always on time; I'm always safe..." And I was. I continued the trial in California traffic last week ("always on time; always safe"). And traffic just smoothed out all week.

My visualizations have taken a different context since I’ve been home. I’ve integrated imaging my goals and plans as part of my morning centering ritual. This week’s a magnificent opportunity for all of us. There’s a massive kite that should enable us to transform base nature (Saturn) with the power of the Divine (Neptune) channeled through the Grand Trine in Fire of the Sun, Jupiter, and Saturn. I’m psyched...

Mind map for Plotinus's First Ennead

Plotinus_ennead_iI've been working through Plotinus's First Ennead, and I thought I'd post the mind map I created while reading this work. Click on this link to download a PDF of the image: Download PlotinusEnneadI.pdf (1014.9K).

Soul and Spirit

A very dear friend of mine asked me for my thoughts on the relationship between Soul and Spirit. I wrote her a longish reply, and I thought I'd reproduce it here...

Thanks for asking me for some thoughts on Soul and Spirit. Or is it Soul or Spirit? Soul versus Spirit? I didn’t want to reply until I had a chance to reread a book I value on Buddhist philosophy. I want to look at Soul and Spirit from three different views (actually four...)

1. An awful lot of Western mysticism borrows heavily from Plotinus. I want to take quick look at his view of how a composite of soul and spirit and matter winds up inside each of us.

2. The Tibetan Buddhists have an unparalleled philosophical view of spirit. There are two views that I want to touch: one that emphasizes that Mind is the only true reality, and another that poses that Mind creates the world, but the world it creates is not the ultimate reality.

3. At my core I’m a spiritual alchemist. So much talk about soul and spirit sounds too theoretical to me. The great contribution of alchemy is that it forces us to reconnect and to merge different worlds.

So here goes!

I. The Ultimate Good, evil in formless Matter, and a Sandwich

I’ve worked my way through parts of Plotinus’s Enneads before, but I’ve never made a careful study of them. What little I know I'll spill here. The first Ennead addresses  being, soul, spirit, and good and evil. Here’s my summary of his points.

1. Humans are a composite of Soul/Spirit in Matter.

2. Matter is utterly formless. Because the Good is pure form, what lacks form utterly is utterly evil - and the combination of Soul in Matter represents a fall into a composite form where the Soul is subject to the vices that arise from Matter.

3. At the other end of the scale is the One, the totally transcendent, beyond all categories of being and non-being.

4. The One doesn’t create, because to do so implies that the One changes through time. Rather, the One emanates - first Thought (Nous), and the World Soul, and eventually the composite Soul that is encased in Matter within us.

5. The composite Soul within us has two portions - a personal Soul and part of the higher Soul that is allied with Nous.

6. Our real work happens in this composite state - in the combination of Soul and Matter. Matter may be evil, but it represents a stage for transformation to occur.

7. Liberation from Matter takes two sides: one aesthetic, and the other purifying. As we appreciate beauty more fully we become better able to relate to true Beauty, which links back to the Good and to the One. Purification helps liberate the composite soul from passions and attachments, making possible a fuller apprehension of the Good.

What are my problems with this? First, I have trouble aesthetically in equating formless Matter with evil and the nature of a Fall taking place when the composite of Soul and Matter forms. Second, and more importantly, there’s no sense of evolution that I get from Plotinus. For an evolutionary approach, I turn to the Buddhists.

II. Two ways to evolve

There are two different Tibetan Buddhist philosophical systems that look very differently at the Soul, Spirit, and Body.

A. Mind-Only

The Mind-Only (Cittamatra) school says that Mind cannot be separated from the Objects that it is concerned with. There are Western philosophers - the Idealists - who assert that Mind creates the world, but the Mind-Only school takes a subtly different approach. A single karmic latency or tendency creates simultaneously both Mind and Object. The two are utterly linked; the notion that one can study an object without understanding the perceiving mind is completely refuted in this view. The karma whose latencies manifest appear simultaneously in an object and in an observing mind. The Mind is never separate from the Object; the system encompassing both is key.

Western Idealist systems have problems with solipsism - everything’s actually inside my mind. The Mind-Only system asserts that there is mind activity, like dreaming, where the Mind is active but there is no effective karma generated. An action that generates karma, however, is always linked with the Mind/Object complex and with intent.

The mind acting affects the karmic flow of other entities - I might shoot something, altering its life flow - or I might support or love something. In these encounters my consciousness overlaps with that of another. We cooperatively choose each other to interact with to manifest and mature our own karmic tendencies. Hence we are not alone, solitary mind, but a cooperative of minds that overlap in our work at the physical level.

The Mind-Only school supports the idea of reincarnation, and it directly answers the question ‘what is it that reincarnates?’ The Mind-Only approach asserts that underneath all the superficial personality lies a core - the ‘Mind-basis-of-all’ - that is the true person. It is the spiritual entity that stores the karmic latencies and tendencies which then manifest in experiences and actions. The Mind-Only school does not state that the Mind-basis-of-all is a separate, independent entity, because only in combination with other factors - as a composite of spirit and the material - does karma actually manifest.

This school really reminds me  of many of the metaphysical schools I’ve explored in the West. But there are other philosophical approaches in Tibetan Buddhism, and one of them challenges this view very strongly.

B. Truth and Consequences

The Middle Way/Consequence school (Madhyamaka/Prasangika) school turns conventional thinking on its head. Consequentialists feel that the Mind-Only approach excessively focuses on the mind and creates an abiding nature of mind. Buddhist philosophy in general focuses on our tendency to reify things: to make things real that actually are not real. We do this with our expectations of how things behave. We treat other people as objects, and we assume that we know all about the objects - animate and inanimate - that we manipulate. We suffer when our expectations go awry.

The various Buddhist philosophical schools attack our incessant drive to reify by cutting into our conventional ways of looking at the world. The Mind-Only school says that Objects don’t exist independently; Objects and Subjects exist together. The Consequentialist view is that the Mind-Only school reifies the mind, and hence does not present the most profound view of reality.

The Consequence school focuses on dependent origination as the nature of conventional reality.

  • Causes and effects depend on each other; it’s not just that effects depend on a cause to create them, but that the linkage works in both directions.
  • Wholes and parts mutually depend on each other. You can’t create a whole without its parts, but the parts have unique meaning in the whole that causes a mutual dependence.
  • And, most importantly, subjects and objects depend on each other. In the West we constantly separate ourselves - the subject - from what we observe and what we manipulate - the objects. There is no such separation in the Consequence view: both subjects and objects are completely interdependent.

What’s mind-bending about the Consequence school is that it states that Objects are completely dependent on Mind - but that Mind isn’t independently existent either. Everything arises dependently on other things - even the nonphysical part of me that I label ‘Soul’. Nonphysical - spiritual - entities evolve and manifest in cooperation with the whole just like evolution occurs at the material level.

So what of Soul versus Spirit in this view? ‘Soul’ as such isn’t talked about much in Buddhist philosophy, primarily because Buddhist philosophy - particularly the Consequence school - is focused on breaking down the reality of a separate, inherently existent self - call it Soul. Ultimate reality isn’t ‘spiritual’ in the way most Westerners think of it. Ultimate reality is a non-dual realization of emptiness. We can think and talk about emptiness, and that rational approach is genuinely helpful. Realizing emptiness in a profound way, is like pouring water into water: borders and rationally imposed limitations disappear.

III. From the alchemist (meaning me...)

My aesthetic side tends toward the Middle Way/Consequence school approach: I like the notion of an emergent spiritual nature. But I don’t think there’s much way to decide the real truth value of any of these statements. Instead I’m much more interested in spiritual alchemy.

Underneath alchemical symbolism is the notion that we’re a composite of matter and spirit. The language of metals that alchemy spins is directly analogous to our own state: there is a physical and a spiritual reality, and the two interact. The alchemical process works with this relation between matter and spirit, and it does so in a unique way. The process begins with a number of purification steps:

  • dying
  • dissolving
  • drying out
  • sublimating

In the sublime state the spirit and matter are fundamentally isolated: matter has already died, and we’ve pulled out the living spiritual energy. But the separation doesn’t stop here. The next step is the Albedo, the White Work, where the spirit takes on a stable form, clear and radiant like the Full Moon. One might mistake the Albedo for the final process because it looks like the spiritual entity has ascended – left the material world. But we’re not done yet.

Most important is the final step. Alchemy isn’t about ascendence - of separating from matter and ascending in some spiritualized, non-physical essence. It’s about revivifying matter - it’s about transcendence. The final step is the Rubedo, the Red Work. Here the fully formed white essence recombines with matter to transform it. It is utterly transforming base matter - formless stuff - lead / Saturn - into pure living gold.

The alchemical maxim that I always remember has the mnemonic VITRIOL: Visita interiora terrae. Rectificando invenies occultem lapidem -- Penetrate into the center of the earth. In purifying you will find the hidden stone. The real nature of things isn’t out there; it’s right here. Our work is not to get out of the physical but to become more completely transformed and transforming in our interaction with the physical.

Forecast and Analysis for 28 January - 3 February

We’re looking at the week beginning 28 January 2007. We start the week with the Moon approaching the Full Moon on Feb 1. Shift into high gear and get your projects underway during this lunar cycle. After the Full Moon, begin harvesting the results of your labors.

Theme transits this week: Jupiter continues to square Uranus all week. Jupiter continues to expand the cosmic roller-coaster, and provides the spark to expand into the new. 

Saturn continues to opposes Neptune for the next several weeks. Mercury  continues to conjoin Neptune early in the week. Later in the week the Sun replaces Mercury in conjoining Neptune and opposing Saturn. Saturn is cosmic structure, while Neptune is the cosmic solvent. Combined we’re trying to dissolve the very structure that we’re trying to build. Work to maintain health by positive nutrition, exercise, and meditation. Avoid alcohol and mood-altering drugs, and remember that medication may not work the way you expect. I think this is purification time - and it may echo into politics and business, too.

Mercury / Neptune is thinking about the divine. If you’re a mystic, you’re all set. But illusions happen when you try translating mystical images as if they are physically real. Saturn opposing Mercury is exactly the opposite energy: Saturn asks hard questions and wants real answers. Fantasies aren’t the key, but translating vision into reality is.

Sun / Neptune is attempting to merge with the divine. Mystics should be fine, but the rest of us who live in the real world can have problems trying to stay grounded. Saturn opposed Sun is physically challenging - the real question is How are you justifying taking up space on the planet? Keep your perspective, especially on 2 Feb when the Full Moon involves both Saturn and Neptune. Doing health-supporting things is key: excellent diet, rest, exercise.

On the 28th the Moon forms a T-Square by opposing Jupiter and squaring Uranus. Emotions open up and the cosmic roller coaster gives us a ride. Aside from a little nervous tension, this can be an excellent time to reconnect with family and friends. The potential for accident is always present with Uranus aspects, so stay safe.

29 Jan:  The Moon opposes Pluto today. Emotions shift to a more controlling, obsessive tone. Relax a bit; don’t put folks under your thumb. If you’re inclined, meditation and inner exploration can be very fruitful because this opposition is one leg of a Mystic Rectangle between the Moon, Saturn, Pluto, Mercury, and Neptune.

30 Jan:  The Moon opposes Mars today, and receives supporting trines from Uranus. Emotional energy rides high, but without the controlling attempts we felt yesterday. 

31 Jan: The Moon is relatively neutral today - and that’s a good thing because we pick up the Full Moon with a host of aspects on Feb 1 & 2. 

1 Feb: It’s the Full Moon today with the Moon in Leo opposing the Sun in Aquarius. As the day progresses, the Moon approaches Saturn and opposes Neptune as well. Moon / Neptune wants emotional contact with the divine, while Saturn asks the Moon to define its emotions. Expect a fair amount of communication confusion. This is a physically challenging aspect, so take special care to support your body with diet, gentle exercise, and plenty of rest. There’s a bit of support from a trine from Pluto to Saturn: inner work and meditation can be very beneficial. And remember that this too shall pass - by Feb 3!

2 Feb: The Moon continues to hang out with Saturn, Neptune and the Sun. Refer to my comments for yesterday and hold on for one more day!

3 Feb:  The Moon closes the week with an opposition to Mercury. It’s a good chance to reflect on what’s been happening all week. There’s a chance for miscommunication and emotionally charged conversation, so keep your perspective!

Thanks for reading CosmicExpress! CosmicExpress looks at the overall planetary patterns that affect all of us. Do check us out on the web at www.CosmicTiming.com where you can see how cosmic influences impact your own personal chart. Have a great week!


Forecast and Analysis for 14-20 January

We’re looking at the week beginning 14 January 2007. We start the week with the Moon approaching New in Capricorn on the 18th. It’s time to release what you no longer need, and to prepare to bring this lunar cycle to a close. After the New Moon kick off those projects you want to approach this next lunar cycle. 

Theme transits this week: Jupiter continues to square Uranus all week. Jupiter continues to expand the cosmic roller-coaster, and provides the spark to expand into the new. 

Saturn continues to opposes Neptune for the next several weeks and Venus conjoins Neptune for the week. Saturn is cosmic structure, while Neptune is the cosmic solvent. Combined we’re trying to dissolve the very structure that we’re trying to build. Work to maintain health by positive nutrition, exercise, and meditation. Avoid alcohol and mood-altering drugs, and remember that medication may not work the way you expect. I think this is purification time - and it may echo into politics and business, too.

Venus / Neptune is falling in love with the divine - it’s great if you’re a mystic, but the tendency is to mistake your physical relationship for the divine love. It can be a recipe for a great romantic novel, or for a disastrous relationship. Jupiter sextiles Venus for the first half of the week, which adds to the rose-colored glasses. Saturn opposing Venus wants to inject a little reality into life. Remember that fantasies will get you nowhere this week.

Mars continues to conjoin Pluto and trine Saturn all week. Mars / Saturn in favorable aspect represents hard work and diligent effort rewarded. Mars / Pluto is incredible energy applied: it’s like we’ve turned on our plasma lasers and we’re burning through thick metal. It’s good for work; not so good for relationships. This is power-play time: avoid getting tripped up by control games from others - or from yourself.

On the 14th the Moon sextiles the Sun and Mercury. It’s a plus day for communication and for connecting with your partner and family.l

15 Jan:  The Moon moves to conjoin Jupiter in Sagittarius and square Uranus. Emotions open up and the cosmic roller coaster gives us a ride. Aside from a little nervous tension, this can be an excellent time to reconnect with family and friends. The potential for accident is always present with Uranus aspects, so stay safe.

16 Jan:  The Moon moves on to conjoin Mars and Pluto today. This adds vital energy with a twinge of obsession. Keep your feelings in check. Your desire for power may not be appreciated by those around you - or maybe they’re the ones running the power trip.

17 Jan: The Moon sextiles Uranus today, which adds just a bit of emotional spark and fun. Relax and enjoy the day.

18 Jan: It’s the New Moon in Capricorn today. Finish releasing the last lunar cycle and prepare to embrace new work over the next four weeks.

19 Jan: The Moon conjoins Mercury today, putting the emphasis on communication about emotional matters. The sextile to Jupiter provides support and ease in communication and in thought.

20 Jan:  The Moon moves to conjoin Venus and Neptune today and to oppose Saturn. This is the tough point of the week, and emotional deception or problems can rise to the fore. Emotions can run between depression and a feeling that you don’t understand what’s happening. It’s not just you: it’s a confusing time. Keep your perspective.

Thanks for reading CosmicExpress! CosmicExpress looks at the overall planetary patterns that affect all of us. Do check us out on the web at www.CosmicTiming.com where you can see how cosmic influences impact your own personal chart. Have a great week!


Forecast and Analysis for 7-13 January

We’re looking at the week beginning 7 January 2007. We start the week with the Moon approaching the Third Quarter  on 11 January. Keep harvesting the work you've been doing in this lunar cycle. After the Third Quarter, prepare to release what you no longer need in preparation for the next lunar cycle.

Theme transits this week: Jupiter continues to square Uranus all week. Jupiter continues to expand the cosmic roller-coaster, and provides the spark to expand into the new. 
Venus sextiles Jupiter all week. Pressures on relationships ease up, and there’s an ease and flow and we’ve not seen in relationships for a while. Enjoy the time with those you love.

We pick up a long-lasting transit: Saturn opposes Neptune for the next several weeks. Saturn is cosmic structure, while Neptune is the cosmic solvent. Combined we’re trying to dissolve the very structure that we’re trying to build. Work to maintain health by positive nutrition, exercise, and meditation. Avoid alcohol and mood-altering drugs, and remember that medication may not work the way you expect. I think this is purification time - and it may echo into politics and business, too.

Mars conjuncts Pluto and trines Saturn all week. Mars / Saturn in favorable aspect represents hard work and diligent effort rewarded. Mars / Pluto is incredible energy applied: it’s like we’ve turned on our plasma lasers and we’re burning through thick metal. It’s good for work; not so good for relationships. This is power-play time: avoid getting tripped up by control games from others - or from yourself.

On the 7th we start the week with the Moon in Virgo opposed Uranus and square Jupiter. This T-Square can create a bit of nervous tension, and Uranus can create a scene. This can be an excellent time to reconnect with family and friends. The potential for accident is always present with Uranus aspects, so stay safe.

8 Jan:  The Moon moves to trine the Sun and Mercury. It’s easy communication time, especially with partners. There’s the possibility for emotions to run a bit hot. Keep the volume turned down emotionally and enjoy the day’s added spark.

9 Jan:  The Moon moves on to square Mars and Pluto today. This adds vital energy with a twinge of obsession. Keep your feelings in check. Your desire for power may not be appreciated by those around you - or maybe they’re the ones running the power trip.

10 Jan: The Moon trines Venus and sextiles Jupiter today. Emotions are supported and warmed today. Spend time with those you love and relax just a bit.

11 Jan: The Moon moves to the Third Quarter today. It’s time to harvest your work from this lunar cycle and to prepare to release what you no longer need. There are excellent supporting aspects: Moon trine Neptune and sextile Saturn, Mars, and Pluto. It’s time to take a day’s breather to look inward. Communications can be a little problematic because of arguments arising.

12 Jan: The Moon square Venus today. With the support from the Jupiter sextile to Venus, the accent is back on relationships. Take time with those you love. Remember one thing: don’t overindulge!

13 Jan:  The Moon moves into a T-Square with Saturn and Neptune. Emotions can run between depression and a feeling that you don’t understand what’s happening. It’s not just you: it’s a confusing time. Keep your perspective.

Thanks for reading CosmicExpress! CosmicExpress looks at the overall planetary patterns that affect all of us. Do check us out on the web at www.CosmicTiming.com where you can see how cosmic influences impact your own personal chart. Have a great week!


I forgot CosmicTiming!

I forgot one thing that happened in 2006 - my new website CosmicTiming. I'd built an astrological website before, but things never quite gelled to get folks using the site. I redesigned the site around a person who's interested in astrology but not proficient at all in the art - and I focused it around a daily summary that fits on a single web page. My good friend Kathleen Jacoby joined me to provide a daily numerological analysis. Right now I'm giving the site a face lift and adding some new features that I want to use myself.

Best of all - it's free! (I do hope you might consider supporting us with a contribution through PayPal - but there are no ads on the site. I hate 'em.) Please check us out!

Wrapping up 2006

I always spend the last day of the year re-reading my journal from the previous year and thinking about the direction I'm heading. 2006 has been a great year for me in my inner growth:

Priestess_composited_smallThe Dimensional Tarot. I discovered the Tarot last year in a profound new way by beginning to craft my own deck. I've read the cards since a spiritual teacher of mine taught me back in 1976, but I've never owned the underlying principles as I have through wrestling with the inner meanings of the cards. By the end of 2005 I had finished a first draft of the Major Arcana using some 3D photorealistic software to create the images. As 2006 unfolded the software I used took a dramatic leap forward. I wrestled with it and with my images for the middle part of the year. By August I developed new techniques that gave me a quantum jump forward in quality and depth of image - and I realized that I needed to rework all of the cards I'd finished in 2006. I now have another set of eyes - my photographer friend Diane Kaye - on each image to help me keep the artistic integrity high. I'm calling it The Dimensional Tarot, and I'm pleased to share with you my rendering of The High Priestess (Major Arcanum II). I'm looking forward to continue my exploration and creation of the Major Arcana this year. I intend to complete the deck - who knows how long that might take!

The Alchemical Marriage. In late 2006 I read The Translucent Revolution. In the chapter on Translucent Sex I had to assess that I'd moved away from my best in my relationship with John. I'd become far too focused on me: what should I be doing, how should I... and so on. It's always a process of remembering what I've already known: I'd studied an alchemical emblem many years ago that helped me understand the esoteric meaning of relationship. Along the way I forgot what I knew. In a flask a king and queen sit naked, embracing. Around them dew collects and clouds appear above. A dove hovers above the couple. What's all this mean?

I believe it shows the way to what I call the Alchemical Marriage. A third entity - a spiritual one - arises during spiritually focused sex. That's the dove. The dew that rises and falls shows the flux of emotional energy - it's a roller-coaster, not a smooth ride. And the hermetically sealed flask means the relationship must itself be sealed to prevent the dove - the spiritual essence - from escaping.

I needed to stop focusing on 'I' and to start focusing on letting this spiritual essence arise. Once I got my head out of the way, things began to move in a magnificent way. I designed a ritual to help me get myself out of the way so that this spiritual essence could manifest. The result has been more astonishing that I could have imagined. My goal in 2007 is to continue this spiritual creation and the accompanying physical healing.

Ritual work. I do neo-pagan rituals of my own design, and I have since the early 1990s. I got a little weird during 2006 and blended some symbols from mathematics with my own interest in sigil-based magic. I call it the transformational matrix, and I've been thrilled with how it's worked so far.

A sigil is a graphic designed with a magical intent in mind. There are many ways to create a sigil, but my favorite is to blend together the letter-forms of the significant word or words. Many references say to create a sigil to symbolize a magical purpose. I worked out something a bit different using the analogy of a mathematical matrix.

A matrix is an array of numbers or symbols, and matrices can multiply themselves to create a new matrix. What I did was to create a matrix of sigils, each representing part of the matter at hand. But I went a bit farther. Rather than only create sigils for my goal, I created sigils for the current state, too. And I added in a transformational matrix - one that is initially blank - that transforms the current sigils into the goals. In ritual I open myself to both sets of symbols, and at some point a new set of symbols appears - totally unrelated to anything I've drawn consciously. These form the transformational matrix, and its this set that I use in subsequent meditations. The results for me have been profound. I'll post more on how each step goes so you'll get an idea of how to do it.

Inner work. Pronoia calls it Schizofrendia: when the little voices inside your head are genuinely helpful and nurturing. I didn't realize anyone else on the planet worked with inner guides when I started in 1980 at the age of twenty-four. I know a little more now...

I returned to working with inner guides this year in a strange way. I happened onto a book presenting channeled teaching that was very popular in the metaphysical world. I thought it was junk - and I was unhappy that I'd not presented what I was learning during the late 80's. After I completed a body of very deep work in the early 90's, I stopped completely. Part of that was my shift to open to a new relationship at the physical level. That took several years to manifest and to gel. Now my relationship with John has entered a new level, I'm beginning to work within again.

My new cutting edge... I've not manifested my right livelihood, and that's where I want to head. I've been doing computer software since 1978. I love doing it, but I don't love doing it for someone else. I'd like to run my own shop again; I did from 1991 through 1994. My real goal this year is to manifest a new way of working, and to create my own business. I'd love to do my art for a living, but I know how hard that is by watching John's constant effort as a full-time artist. I'd also like to be of service - possibly doing something metaphysically-inclined. So I'm doing my inner work, and starting some explorations.

Yule meditation

I write this by the soft glow of an oil lamp after I concluded my meditation beside my Yule wreath.

I opened slowly tonight, peaceably, as if I am finally taking to heart the admonition to allow the mind to settle of its own accord in an environment of peace and solitude. In an instant the day's context and plans all evaporated like smoke dispelled by a sudden air. Instead of the spiraling cycles I knew in a previous meditation, tonight reality presented itself through its other guise: as a stream of flickering scintillas, piercing a deeper Void whence they arise and wither they vanish.

Both of these truths manifest ceaselessly: the cyclic and the quantum, and the universe these sides reveal is one. As Dogen says in the Genjokoan:

...Kindling becomes ash, and cannot become kindling again. However, we should not see the ash as after and the kindling as before. Know that the kindling abides in the normative state of kindling, and though it has a before and after, the realms of before and after are disconnected... (Thomas Cleary, trans. Classics of Buddhism and Zen, Vol II. Shambhala, 2001)

We (meaning I) spend far too much time pondering the befores and afters, the links between wishes and deeds, the forces we intend to manipulate. Dogen points us to the uttermost manifestation in the moment.

When I first began to sit in the Soto Zen style more than twenty years ago, one evening the continuity of time seemed to disconnect into discrete points, manifestations that welled up and disappeared. My teacher said to me simply: "When distractions vanish, clarity remains." She told me not to attempt to re-create the experience. But the realization returns, as it did in this meditation.

Wolcum Yule!

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This is the first chance I've had to write since the Solstice five days ago. I'm listening to Snow, a track by Loreena McKennitt. Hop on over to her website and listen to a voice for the season... (Her song's lyrics are by one of Canada's finest poets; text below.)

No Christmas tinsel around here. When I left my ex in 1990 I abandoned exoteric Christmas. That very year I happened by Minerva Books where my friend Robert Clark sold me a small pamphlet talking about Yule wreaths. Ever after I've done just that: celebrate the cycle of the year with a wreath and apples. This year I bought a sumptuous wreath from White Flower Farm. I decorated it with four bright red apples to represent the four Equinoxes and Solstices. As I've explored and evolved in my own neo-pagan inner life these times have become great with meaning. Yule marks the return of light.

Leading to Yule is my time to explore the year in my intensive journal. When I finished work for the year last Wednesday I opened my intensive journal to see if I had anything more to write; I'd already streamed about fifteen pages and ten diagrams for the year. I decided that I hadn't - save one thing. My last entry says that I need to move out of my safety zone. That I'm still exploring - and I'll share with you what comes next.

On the Solstice I wrote the following:

It was a most difficult ritual to sustain. My energies were flagging; I fear I may be coming down with something. No matter. I sat zazen in preparation but never fully centered. I moved to my ritual space, tolled the bell, and began to invoke the return of light.

Once I began I blanked out on some of the words of invocation that I wrote years ago. I stopped, began again, and moved on through - even though I missed some of the words. I sank to my knees and began to meditate. This was not a ritual to effect change externally - at least initially it wasn't.

Nothing moved. I was hopelessly stagnant. I affirmed that nothing need change, that all was well even in my stuck place. I was even unhappy that the direction of the evergreen boughs in my wreath were wound counter-clockwise...

I simply kept on. Suddenly everything shifted. Yule is about continuity, about the revival in the face of bleakness. The boughs were moving in the right direction: if we gather forces from around us they spiral inward to us.

Continuity. I kept meditating on it, on the evergreen boughs, on the return to life, on the rebirth of light. When I rose I went to the four corners and asked the friendly powers for their help. As I closed the work I asked them to extend a film of light around the world, granting freedom from suffering, from pain, and bestowing joy on those seen and unseen.

My affirmations to the corners:

  • For Air: wisdom and communication with others
  • For Fire: great heart and passion
  • For Water: love and devotion
  • For Earth: health and prosperity

May you have these four in this new year.

Snow
Archibald Lampman (1861-1899)

White are the far-off plains, and white
the fading forests grow;
The wind dies out along the height,
And denser still the snow
A gathering weight on roof and tree
Falls down scarce audibly.

The meadows and far-sheeted streams
Lie still without a sound;
Like some soft minister of dreams
The snow-fall hoods me round;
In wood and water, earth and air
A silence everywhere.

Save when at lonely intervals
Some farmer's sleigh, urged on,
With whistling runners and sharp bells
Swings by me and is gone;
Or from the empty waste I hear
A sound remote and clear

The barking of a dog, or call
To cattle, sharply pealed,
Borne echoing from some wayside stall
Or barnyard far afield;
Then all is silent and the snow
Falls settling soft and slow.

The evening deepens and the grey
Folds closer earth and sky
The world seems shrouded, far away.
Its noises sleep, and I
as secret as yon buried stream
plod dumbly on and dream.

Esoteric reading